35 year old step son going on two years living with us. Help!?
This is my second marriage. Married three years now to a wonderful man. We’re very happy except for 1 major thing: My husband has allowed his thirty five year old son to live with us. His son is an alcoholic/meth user who was living on the streets. Was living on the streets, but now living in our home. This is going on two yrs. this February 2011. His driver’s license was pulled but recently it was released to him. It’s still sitting down at the D.M.V. office because he does not have the $15 it costs to get it. He had $200 monthly food stamps but the county dropped those services to him being as how he is been receiving it for nearly two years and still hasn’t found, nor looked, for a job. My husband put him through welding school and the welding certificates are still sitting at the school waiting to be picked up, which will cost $100. We have the money but my husband hasn’t budged. My step son recently went back to his former city where he has friends in order to work on his friend’s ranch, harvesting persimmons and almonds. The first time he was gone for three weeks. When he came back he said he spent all the money he earned while working. He went back for another three weeks and was supposed to return with the end of the harvest money owed him which was supposed to be nearly $400. He was to use that money to get his driver’s license, his car registered, and insured. Since he is been back, he is eaten the food I had purchased for my husband and I, including the Diet Pepsis we drink. The son only drinks Dr. Pepper but will help himself to our stuff. I asked him where his money was that he had earned and he gave me some story about a guy taking the money and they haven’t seen him since. He stays up for twenty four hours at a time, looks either drunk or on drugs, pisses outside on our concrete rather than walking the one yard to the bathroom; (the odor will knock you down!) When I told my husband I wanted his son out of here my husband told me that he will never put his son back out on the street. I’ve been in therapy over this and my therapist basically said to let my husband suffer the consequences of his son’s behavior. But I’m the 1 dealing with his sh**. My husband is in denial. I feel that this living arrangement is going to destroy our marriage. I love my husband dearly. We get along so wonderfully! But I do not know how to handle this situation. Do I keep ignoring his drug use and failure to go to work? When I go to the fridge to get a Pepsi and they’re gone because he drank them all I’m ready to explode! Does anyone know how to help me? Please be sincere and not hateful. This feels like a no win situation and I’m the loser. Am I right in my thinking?